Part 1 here.

The next morning, we had to write a journal article based on a random photo. I worked with the same friend as the previous day, and ours was a photo of a horse that had crushed a car. Of course, we decided that it was a cow and wrote the following:


“Yesterday, in Canada, a car was crushed by a flying cow. Canada is full of cows, though no one knows exactly how many there actually are. The flying cow, which survived the crash, is the first of its kind and adored by all the Canadians. Reporters were surprised to find that the cow was accompanied by a New Zealand Passport. The cow was apparently transported across the Pacific by some strong winds. The owner of the damaged vehicle demands that New Zealand pay for the repairs, but New Zealand does not accept any responsibility for the accident. For the moment, it is unclear whether this situation will cause problems between the two countries, but the Society for the Liberation of Cows is working to ease the tension. In any case, it is clear that this conflict is motivating the Society for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes to continue their good work.”


My attempt to read the article out loud in class dissolved into a round of giggles, and my partner couldn’t do much better. Unfortunately, it was a totally different professor than the previous day and he didn’t know the context, which is a little hard to explain when you can’t breathe. Eventually he just gave up and read it out loud himself, leaving us to giggle to ourselves. At least our grammar was on point.

And if you thought that was the end of the story, you’re mistaken. I am well versed in stretching a joke far past its prime, and this is one of them. Stay tuned for Part 3!

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