In honor of the fact that Will and I got to hear David Sedaris live on Wednesday night, I’ve decided to share some of my favorite quotes.  If you don’t know who I’m talking about, drop everything and listen to this:

On gay marriage:

“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don’t want to marry a homosexual, then don’t. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor’s options? It’s like voting whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.”

Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

On the nuances of the French language:

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.”

Me Talk Pretty One Day

Listening to tourists outside his Parisian apartment:

“‘Oh, for Christ’s sake,’ I hear. ‘Can we please just try to have a good time?’  This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn’t work. I’ve tried it.”

When You Are Engulfed in Flames