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Margaux Rhymes with Fargo

Mirthful Musings, Ridiculous Ramblings, and Comical Codswallop

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Working Life

Wardrobe Fail

#ThatMomentWhen you don’t realize until you get to work that your pants are black and not navy blue as you originally thought and now your shoes don’t match, but it doesn’t matter because the engineers at work probably won’t notice anyways.

Remind me why I wake up before the sun?!

Who puts Doritos in the fridge?!

Seriously?!

I will never understand my fellow engineers.

To be fair, there are also theoretical physicists in my building, so if I had to take a guess I’d say it was one of them. You’d think after going to school with so many budding scientists and engineers I’d be used to it, but there’s always something new. They never cease to amaze me.

How do they get away with this stuff?

This is a real email from a supposedly real recruiter that appeared in my inbox this morning.  Keep in mind that I have an engineering degree.

temp

A couple of notes here:

  • questionable grammar
  • double salutation?
  • faulty matching algorithm
  • pretty sure I never signed up for this service, so not sure how they got my email
  • the subject line was “URGENT!!!”, which almost always means it’s not

Anyways, this email made me simultaneously giggle and wonder how this guy puts on his pants in the morning.

One of those (Tues)days

It started with the small things, as it always does.  My toothpaste fell down the drain.  I spilled water down my chest trying to take a sip in bed.  My granola bar broke when I opened it and half fell on the floor.  But then I found my car keys that had been missing for a few days, and I thought it was going to be a good day.

Nope.

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning that I had to book back in mid-October because doctors are apparently in high demand.  Even though I verified my insurance with the secretary on the phone when I made the appointment, they didn’t take the insurance when I showed up at the office this morning.   And of course there is much more traffic at 9am than at 7am when I usually go in.  So that was a waste of a morning, especially because we’re in crunch time with a design review coming up.

Then I got to work and my computer was frozen.  Apparently there was a company-wide software update last night, and my computer decided to freeze in the middle and just hang out like that.  And of course the IT guys were useless, just telling me to restart my computer until it worked.  Which, ironically, it did after the 7th attempt.  That makes no sense.  I then tried to open the CAD file I was working on yesterday, and apparently it had also kicked the bucket for no apparent reason.  Luckily I hadn’t made any huge changes since my last upload to the server, so I didn’t love a ton of work.  But still.

Stanford offers a free personal training session to all employees, so I scheduled that from 12-1pm forever ago.  Of course, yesterday, another meeting got scheduled right at 1pm so I had to leave the personal training session early to run to that.  Except when I finally found the room on the far side of the SLAC campus, there was a note on the door saying it had been cancelled.  Email is a thing that exists.  Just a thought.

I finally drove back to my office to find that the parking lot I usually park in was full, so I got to park in the super far parking lot and trek in the cold wind back to my office building.  I then went to the breakroom to heat up my lunch and looked out the window only to find that a spot had magically appeared in the parking lot.

And then it was only lunchtime.  Happy Tuesday, everybody.

On the  bright side, my day wasn’t quite as bad as these guys: (click to minute 1:30 for my favorite clip)

Office Takeover

I have a window in my office!  And an officemate!  We’re gonna be best friends.

Except for the fact that I only get to be there temporarily until someone more senior than me makes his way through the hiring process.  Apparently my workstation wasn’t ready in time and I took over a station meant for someone else.  Oops.

Other than that, and the fact that the badging office is useless (but still more useful than the one in France), I had a pretty good first day.  Mostly just reading through the past design reviews for the camera I will be working on, and getting acquainted with some new CAD software.  And listening to some old farts reminisce about their early days at SLAC.

For all of my five followers who care (Hi, Mom!), I definitely won’t have time to post on the blog as often, but I’ll try to do once or twice a week.  Being a real adult with a real job and a real commute (Bay Area traffic is the worst) takes a surprising amount of time.

Just slackin’ about

I interrupt your regularly scheduled weekly programming (i.e. Flying Cows) with an exciting announcement: I’m gonna be a slacker!  Well, SLAC-er.  As in, working for SLAC (the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center).  On the biggest camera in the world.  I’m super excited!

Basically, once it’s all assembled in Chile in five years, the Large Synoptic Survey Telescope will be taking a picture of the entire universe every single day and making that data available publicly.  People will literally be able to explore the universe on their computers.  How cool is that?!

No one likes that kid

Everything always seems to happen during lunch time at summer camp. I guess that makes sense because the rest of the time, the kiddos have robots to occupy them. But still, it would’ve been nice to eat in peace.

Yet again, many of the boys were playing 4-square, and as we’ve discussed it can be a recipe for disaster. I was actually playing with them at this point, which is fun until they all gang up on me to get me out every time, but it usually helps mitigate disputes. But it only takes one kid to ruin it all.

Jacktopus (clearly not his real name) was in the “king” position, which in 4-square means that he got to make the rules. He does, however, have to follow his own rules, a fact that is quite unwelcome to the king.  So after holding down the “king” position for a few minutes, which is a long time in this game, Jacktopus had two misserves in a row, which meant that he was out.  Unfortunately, he didn’t see the second serve as outside the lines, while literally everyone else playing did. Including me. Jacktopus refused to go out, so like a responsible adult I tried to have a reasonable conversation with him. Majority wins, I’m sorry you didn’t see it but everyone else did, it’s just a game, you’ll have another chance to be king, blah blah blah. But if I learned one thing this summer, it’s that kids are not rational. At all.

He refused to move out of the square, meaning that no one else could play either.  The other boys moved to a different part of the blacktop so they could continue playing, but Jacktopus ran over there as well and wouldn’t let them play. He also held the ball and wouldn’t let go so that they couldn’t use it, and then punted it across the blacktop. Like I said, totally irrational.

At this point I had a mass of frustrated kids yelling at him and yelling at me and it was a total mess. I sent everyone to the playground to play tag, except for Jacktopus who got to come hang out with me for a while. What a treat. No one likes that kid.

What goes around, comes around

Back to the summer camp theme for another story.

During lunch one day, a bunch of the boys were playing 4-square on the blacktop. They can literally play this game for hours. It’s incredible. It’s also a recipe for disaster.

Disagreements about who is “out” and who isn’t are a common occurrence, but usually the loudest kid wins and they just go back to playing.

However, one incident in particular led to some pushing and shoving between two best friends with the same name. We’ll call them Mini Sasquatch and Hairy Sasquatch. They yelled at each other and Mini Sasquatch ended up getting thrown to the asphalt by Hairy Sasquatch.  Cue the tears. Of course, after I got to hang out with Mini Sasquatch inside while he cried for a bit, he got up and went back outside to play. Freakin boys. Just skip the tears, will ya?!

Later during the same lunch period, Hairy Sasquatch tripped over himself and fell on the blacktop because his shoes were untied. Classic elementary school boy. He scraped himself worse than Mini Sasquatch had earlier, and yet again I got to hang out inside with a crying 5th grader. That’s karma, kid. Although I’d argue that I’m the real loser in this whole situation.

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